Last week I met a young couple with their two babies. Mom was discretely breast feeding their newbie while Dad was taking care of his sister – a cutie of fourteen months who clearly had Downs Syndrome. She was tiny for her age but chirpy with a cheeky grin that quickly spread over her face into a friendly smile. Her happiness was contagious and she very quickly stole my heart!
The toddler reminded me of Mark – now a young adult – who also has Downs. His mom came to me for ante-natal classes and to be honest, I was apprehensive when the group met again for post-natal classes. How would mom and the group react? But I needn’t have worried – Mark and mom were so accepting of the situation, they left us feeling humbled and in awe. They had a ‘different’ kind of joy-bonding that was (and still is today) very special. At the baby-gym classes we were all delighted when Mark responded to stimulation. It was a red velvet toy carousal and played a Christmas tune.
Why am I telling you this? Your 24 week scan is considered one of the most important – mainly because the objective is to confirm that your baby is ‘perfect’. But what if Downs – or an extra digit – or some other congenital anomaly is suspected? What do you do? Who do you turn to for advice? How will you ever know that you made the right decision?
But, is life ever ‘perfect’? Can we avoid challenges that hit us like meteors? How do we overcome hurdles that seem to be mountains at the time?
In moments like these, communication, openness and honesty between you and your partner is essential. Talk it through. Draw on family support – but if there is none, contact your religious leader who has been trained to guide you in making a decision.
Remember too that tests are not absolute! One couple I know who were told their baby had Downs was born without it. I am also familiar with families who have been drawn closer and bonds have been strengthened to give couples courage and support in times of need. It’s a human strength that’s too often overlooked by modern society. Listen to your inner voice.
