I understand that life is not all about ‘happy holidays’ and ‘walking on the sunny side of the street’. Every day brings new challenges that we can’t avoid. As a new mom you may be struggling with coping with motherhood – an almost alien word today. Your confidence may be shattered after trying to understand this tiny baby who does not comply with advice from friends and family, magazines, baby-books and blogs! Every minute of every hour in every day is taken up by your baby – and your nerves may feel like tightly stretched violin strings! But remember, when the bow gently caresses these strings they can make beautiful music!
Bring this music into your every day:
Accept the situation: Don’t hanker after your ‘past life’ and mourn the loss of independence and ‘self’. Don’t take things personally either – your baby does not mean to make life difficult for you. Talk to other moms – knowing that you’re not alone helps.
Re-circuit your brain: Learn to ‘switch-off’ negative currents (your body is different, maternity-leave has left you feeling lonely and derailed, your partner has no idea how you feel) and ‘switch-on’ positive currents – get organized, pre-plan outings, make time for yourself (even if it’s only a luxurious candle-lit-champagne-bubble bath!)
Nurture ‘happiness hormones’ without chemicals: Take up jogging (begin by walking), dance (with your baby) or go back to gym. Bake a tray of cup-cakes or cookies, read, start a vegetable garden, revive dormant talents – draw, sing, join a knitting or sewing circle, go back to book-club!
Spend time with positive people: I found these in organizations like Toastmasters International, La Leché League, Writers 2000, MAD (Make A Difference) knitters, CIA (Christians In Action). Your librarian or church pastor may have contact details.
Register for a short-course: Learn another language; or cake-icing, how to sew or make wicker baskets, chocolate Easter eggs, micro-wave cooking, gourmet meals or healthy eating. These are usually offered at the community centre. They’re fun, inexpensive and balance your life.
Learn to pray: Surviving is a daily challenge. Every day means starting all over again! There is no fairy godmother to wave her magic wand or Mary Poppins to snap her fingers! We have to do it for ourselves. Praying is very easy really. It’s simply communicating with God within.
Stop worrying: It’s like praying for something you don’t want to happen!
Trust your instincts: Listen to the voice from within. It’s usually right!
Keep a diary: It helps to document your aspirations and successes.
Thank God for your blessings: Your baby’s first smile, an act of kindness (when you least expect it), refreshing rain, warm sunshine, water when you’re thirsty, companionship from your partner, true friends who understand you.
Do something for somebody else – their appreciation will treble your happiness!
