Born too soon
At the end of May, our little
preemie granddaughter will celebrate her first birthday. Still tiny, she has
made good progress in spite of setbacks and some of the complications caused by
prematurity.
A premature baby is born before 36
weeks. Prematurity is usually caused by pregnancy problems such as high blood
pressure, diabetes, placental problems, trauma, infections, a weak cervix
(mouth of the womb), multiples (twins or triplets), the mother’s age and
sometimes, for unknown reasons.
Prematurity is stressful for
parents, traumatising for baby and demanding on the medical team. This team
includes the paediatrician, neonatal nursing sisters and other specialists such
as physiotherapists, neurologists and dietitians.
The high-care unit is a busy place
with people, equipment, lights and incubators. It’s frightening when parents
see their tiny baby covered with tubes, drips and monitor leads. Visiting is
limited to parents only. Strict hygiene is essential for infection control. Hands
must be washed and parents are gowned and masked. Mothers are encouraged to
start expressing breast milk even when she only has colostrum (first milk).
The nursing staff in neonatal
high-care units are dedicated to their preemies and empathetic with parents.
They should take the time to explain what the equipment is for, the treatment plan
and any progress their baby is making. Parents can spend weeks and even months
at their baby’s bedside, and a good relationship between the medical staff and
the parents goes a long way to helping parents stay positive. This helps them
to bond with their baby, and mom to make enough milk to feed her baby through
a tube.
Anxious parents want to know if
their baby will survive, and if their baby will be normal. They also have a
life outside the hospital – a job, a family and other responsibilities. Parents
are often plagued with question from family and friends when they themselves don’t know
the answers. Mother’s especially are afraid to voice her fears – did I do something
wrong, am I being punished, is God teaching me a lesson?
When the big day comes for parents
to take their baby home, excited as they may be, they’re also hesitant and apprehensive
because they won’t have the security of nursing staff to help them. It helps
when it’s not their first baby – but it’s doubly-scary when this little preemie
is the couple’s first baby and they’re not familiar with baby do’s and don’ts!
Parents with a preemie need to understand
that it’s normal to have to deal with:
Overwhelming
feelings of not coping
Dealing with
overanxious grandparents
Being
super-sensitive about what people say
Worrying about
not ‘bonding’ with their baby
Delayed
milestones and unexpected medical setbacks.
Coping tips:
Ask questions
while your baby is still in hospital
Don’t consult
‘Dr Google’ – ask your paediatrician
Don’t miss
follow-up appointments
Immunise your
baby
Don’t hesitate
to phone your paediatrician if you are worried about anything
Take pictures
Communicate with
family and friends. They’re often hesitant to start a conversation or to ask
questions in case these offend you
Celebrate your
baby’s birth.
