Tips for dads - what to do with their kids over week-ends

Week-end Dads

Whether its up to you to give your wife a break from the kids over week-ends or you’re a single dad, here are some tips on how to make these a win-win for everybody (spouse, kids, in-laws – even you!)

Do’s:

Have a routine. Kids love routine. It makes them safe, secure and comfortable.

Food is a biggie. Don’t indulge them with rubbish take-away’s and sweets (you’ll pay for this later), but make a point of having their favourite e.g. mac- ‘n-cheese in the fridge. Little children especially, never tire of their favourite – even if it’s only marmite-toast or fish-fingers.

Take them to simple places they would not have the chance to go to during the week (age depending of course). The library or park, kids cooking classes, the nursery or local nature reserve. Take them swimming, fishing or hiking. Teach them about nature and the world around them. They may not thank you now but, believe you me, they’ll thank you in your eulogy one day.

Occasionally let them bring a friend (especially if they’re an only-child)

About once a month, plan something special; a movie, waffles and ice-cream, 10-pin-bowling or putt-putt. Take them to community events like exhibitions, games or a morning-market.

Don’ts:

Don’t overwhelm kids with too many exciting happenings in one day. They will only get tired and grouchy.

Don’t promise them the sun, the moon and the stars – then disappoint them. You will lose their trust.

Don’t put your week-end life on hold. This will only make you resentful.

Don’t do things with them that you know will annoy your spouse or X – like take them to your parents and talk nasty about her or let them do things they aren’t allowed to do at home – like jump on the furniture, go to bed when it suits them or watch X-rated movies.

Don’t ignore basic hygiene (like getting away without bathing or brushing their teeth) or ignore special diets e.g. allergies. Don’t let them get wet in the rain ‘to toughed them up’. Come Monday and their mom is going to have to cope with sick kids.

Remember:

Call, message, what’s app your children during the week. Don’t only be a week-end Dad.

Diarise concerts, sporting or dancing events and eisteddfods – and don’t forget special events like Birthdays and family celebrations.

You can’t say ‘I love you’ if you’re never there for them.

Trust your health-care provider

Trust your health-care provider: don’t take birthing options into your own hands

Googling your questions about pregnancy and babies is seriously risky. A recent tragic outcome for Sara, who was an ardent ‘Ten-Month-Mamma’ (home-birthers who don’t believe in inductions for overdue babies) who chose to ignore the advice of her midwife, resulting in the death of her baby, has left the group feeling flustered and guilty. They have  since closed.

A pregnancy is 40 weeks. Nine calendar or 10 lunar months – but remember, a lunar month is shorter than a calendar month. It follows the phases of the moon.

The trend for higher c-section rates has swung the birthing pendulum to women mistrusting doctors, demanding natural birth and doing things their way.

This is not good.

I am proud to call myself a midwife. It’s the happy side of nursing. Thanks to good ante-natal care, early detection and intervention of problems, prompt action, experienced doctors and midwives, having babies today is much safer than it used to be. But that does not mean that pregnancy and childbirth is without risks. There will always be a multitude of ‘what if’s’ that can become problematic. I strongly advise women not to take matters into their own hands. By all means, get a second or third opinion if you don’t agree with your health-care provider, but you are not qualified to make medical decisions. Even they can be flummoxed because childbirth is, and always will be, unpredictable.

My own birthing experiences is a good example. My first two babies were born naturally, without epidurals and problem free. I expected my third birth to go the same way, but when I got to the hospital in established labour (regular contractions five minutes apart) my baby was a ‘brow’ presentation. My gynaecologist said that there was a possibility that her head would ‘flex’ into the correct position and I could have natural birth – or extend and get stuck. What happened? Her little head ‘extended’ to become a ‘posterior face presentation’ and I was whipped to the operating theatre for an emergency c-section. Had I insisted on natural birth, there would have been serious and irreversible complications.

Listen to your instincts, but trust your midwife/doctor/gynaecologist.