moving your toddler from a cot into a bed

Bye-bye cot, hello big bed

Last week’s blog was all about bed wetting. I thought that for this week I would featuring Tracy Tucks contribution on behalf of Protect-A-Bed® about changing your toddler into a bed. See my face-book page for more about mattress protection. 

“YouTube is crammed with videos of ingenious toddlers scaling the bars of their cots in gymnastic bids for freedom. Adorable as these pint-sized Houdini’s may be, once a toddler gets the hang of flying the coop, it’s time to deal with yet another childhood milestone: the move to a big bed.

Even if your toddler hasn’t yet risked a nasty fall in his or her quest to ‘escape’, a big bed might still be necessary if the cot is becoming too small, is needed for a new baby, or is preventing a toilet-training toddler from getting up to go to the loo.

While there are no hard and fast rules, most toddlers make the move to their own beds any time between 18 months and three and a half years.

With a little preparation, you can minimise the tears that often ensue ... both your toddler’s and yours.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT TIME

Plan to move your toddler to the big bed during a stable time in your family life. Moving to a new bed can be very stressful for both you and your toddler, so it’s best not to make the move during periods of upheaval, such as starting nursery school, when you’re going back to work, or when you or your child is sick.

If your toddler is leaving the cot because of a new baby, it’s best to make the move at least six weeks before or a few months after the birth, so that she doesn’t feel as if she’s being booted out by baby.

PREPARING THE NEW NEST

If your child is old enough, create excitement around the change by going shopping together for new bed linen or a new soft toy to share the big bed. Create a sense of continuity by moving over some familiar items from the cot, such as a favourite blanket or teddy, or reposition a much-loved cot mobile over the new bed.

It’s also imperative to invest in a mattress protector to ensure easy cleaning after inevitable nappy leaks and toilet-training accidents, and to prevent staining of the new mattress. (Remember that unlike a foam cot mattress, you can’t wash a bed mattress.)

SA’s leading mattress protector brand, Protect-A-Bed®, advises parents to choose a mattress protector that’s super absorbent, with a waterproof layer that won’t crinkle noisily every time your toddler shifts. It’s also a good idea to invest in two mattress protectors, so there’s always a spare on hand so that middle-of-the-night linen changes can be dealt with quickly and calmly.

SAFETY STEPS

Now that the new bed’s taken care of, it’s time to prepare the rest of the house. Your toddler will no longer be confined to the safety of the cot, so reassess your home for potential dangers.

If the new bed has no sides, you can install bed rails, or place cushions, pillows, or folded duvets and blankets onto the floor beside the bed to soften any night-time rolling mishaps.

To stop your toddler coming to any harm while wandering about unsupervised, install a baby gate across the bedroom door, and ensure stairs are barricaded. (Check that your toddler can’t use his cot-climbing skills on these gates.)

Check that all plug points are covered, tidy up electrical cords and wind up blind cords that could be a strangling hazard.

If there are items of furniture which your toddler could pull over, such as book and toy shelves, secure these to the wall with brackets.

Check that windows, especially upstairs windows, can’t be opened wide enough for your toddler to fall out.

IT’S D-DAY

You’ve prepared the new bed, secured your house, and talked up the change until even the family dog is vibrating with excitement. All that’s left now is to make the switch.

Some children are quite happy to wave goodbye to their cot and never look back, moving in one jump from cot to bed.

Others cope better if allowed to move over in stages. Consider starting with daytime naps in the big bed, sleeping in the cot only at night. Or have your toddler spend a few nights sleeping on the cot mattress on the floor beside the bed before making the final move.

Whichever route you choose, stick to your toddler’s usual bedtime routine to lessen the upheaval.

COPING WITH THE FALLOUT

Despite your best attempts to make the move an exciting and positive one, your toddler may still struggle to adjust. Moving from the security of their familiar cot can be extremely stressful for little ones, no matter how excited they might have been about that new Frozen duvet cover or Buzz Lightyear bed.

Whether it’s true distress at being in a new bed, or simply the novelty of being able to hop out of bed whenever they choose, many toddlers struggle to stay put and will initially get up repeatedly. Here are two methods that can be used to keep your toddler in bed.

The first is to immediately return your toddler to bed, making as little fuss as possible. Preferably don’t even talk to your child, and definitely don’t get angry; any response from Mom and Dad – be it positive or negative – simply rewards the behaviour. Be prepared to have your patience sorely tried, as you will likely have to return your toddler to bed twenty, thirty, even a hundred times in an evening. With perseverance and consistency however, this method usually sorts out the problem within a few days.

Otherwise try the gradual approach; it generally takes longer, but is less taxing on the nerves. Begin by sitting silently next to your child’s bed at night until he or she falls asleep. Over the following nights, gradually move closer and closer to the door until your child falls asleep without you in the room.

If both these methods fail, your toddler may not be ready for the move. If you’re able to, consider bringing back the cot for a short period. Don’t see this as a defeat, or that you’re giving in to your child; some littlies just need more time, and may move over without fuss when you try again in a few weeks.

Be patient and give your toddler time to adjust to what is a major milestone in his or her life, and before you know it, the cot will be a distant memory.

Night-time woes for little children - bed wetting

Bed wetting

It’s a relief when toddlers are potty-trained and you’re spared the expense of nappies, but frustrating when your once-dry child starts wetting the bed again. It’s is called enuresis.

For the most part, enuresis is a temporary setback so don’t get too hung up about it. Secondary enuresis (bed wetting after a child has been dry at night) is common and treatable. Primary enuresis (always needing night-time nappies) needs more investigating.

Some children take longer to be potty-trained than others. It’s wise to wait until your child is dry at night for at least two weeks before you take off the night-time nappy. Don’t make a big deal of it. This will only make your child anxious.

Causes of bed wetting:

• Big changes in their little world: going to a new school, a new baby in the house, divorce, death, moving  
• Infections: bladder or urinary tract infections, thrush (happens more often in little girls) or an infection on the tip of the penis means that it burns when passing urine. This makes the child reluctant to empty their bladder and they may go to bed with it full
• Pinworm infections cause uncomfortable itching around the anal and/or genital area
• Constipation makes children thoroughly miserable. Impacted faeces could block urinary output so that urine trickles through during the night or it could dull sensation to the urinary sphincter that warns the child when their bladder is full
• Primary enuresis can be caused by severe emotional upsets (especially for adopted children) or urinary-tract abnormalities that may have missed diagnosis. A specialist psychologist or urologist should be consulted.

Tips for parents/caregivers:

Bed wetting is involuntary. Children don’t do this deliberately. It makes them cold and wet and uncomfortable and they feel humiliated. Adults get frustrated, but it’s best to blame it on the ‘naughty wee’ and not the child

Bed wetting is treatable. Ask your family doctor for help. S/he will check for infections and underlying medical problems, and may be able to suggest techniques, treatments or even devices that have been developed to help children stay dry at night

You may not remember it, but bed wetting tends to run in families. Most children stop bed wetting on their own at about the same age their parent did!

Bed wetting after the age of 3 is quite common today because children are allowed to outgrow their need for nighttime nappies. This has its pros and cons. Children learn to sleep without a nappy in their own time and they’re truly ready when they’re consistently dry at night. But wearing a nighttime nappy can also make them ‘lazy’ and prolong nighttime ‘incontinence.’  

Cut down on liquids in the late afternoon and take your child to the toilet before you go to bed (sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t)

Leave a night-light on in the bathroom or passage so that your child is not frightened to get up and go to the toilet on their own

Don’t make a big fuss about being wet or dry the next morning. Take each day as it comes. 

But when your child has been consistently dry in the mornings for a few weeks, celebrate or reward your child appropriately.

What to do if you have to deliver a baby

How to deliver a baby

Sometimes it happens that babies are born before mom can get to the hospital. Babies have been known to be born in supermarkets, parking-lots, at home, in the taxi and even on the airplane. During the Mozambique floods a few years ago, a baby-girl was born in the tree – and survived to tell the tale.

Once the mouth of the womb (cervix) is fully dilated (open), babies are born very quickly. If you’re the only person around to help the woman about to give birth, you may have no choice but to ask someone to bring you a basin of hot water, some towels, cotton thread and scissors – and to call 911 or 0911, 10177 or Netcare 082 911 countrywide in South Africa.

Keep calm. Shouting and panicking is only going to make the situation worse! Remember that in most instances, babies are born on their own. Let nature do its thing and keep reassuring the mother.

Make her comfortable. Use newspaper, black utility bags or towels to spread over the area where the baby will be born. When the mother’s waters break, there will be a gush of straw-coloured fluid. Place a clean towel under mom’s bottom, use warm water to sponge the vulva. Wear disposable gloves – any type will do.

When the mother starts to push, encourage her to push slowly – especially if you suspect that the baby is premature. It may help her to get her into a squatting or onto all-fours. In this way, the baby’s head will simply slip out the vagina. This position also helps to minimize tearing the perineum (the area between the vagina and the rectum).

Once the head is out, support it with one hand while checking around the baby’s neck for the cord. It’s rare for the cord to be wrapped around the baby’s neck, but if it is, gently slip this over baby’s head. The cord is long and slippery so it’s quite easy to do.

While supporting the baby’s head, you will notice that the baby’s body will turn (it’s called the ‘dance of birth’). This is in preparation for the birth of the shoulders. Gently ease the shoulder out closest to you, then the second shoulder. After this, the baby’s body will slip out quite easily with a gush of remaining amniotic fluid (called the hind waters).

Quickly wrap the baby into a towel and place skin-to-skin between the mother’s breasts. Cover mom and baby with a blanket and give the baby a chance to recover and familiarize him/herself with mom. Baby will recognize mother by her smell – the newborn’s sense of smell is strongest immediately after birth.

If help has not arrived, don’t stress too much about the placenta (afterbirth). You can leave it in place, but it may come away on its own after about 30 minutes, or if the baby starts suckling. If the placenta comes away, you need to cut the cord. This is painless for mom and baby because there are no nerves in the cord. About a thumbs length from baby’s navel, tie cotton thread in two places, then cut the cord between the two ties. Wrap the placenta in a plastic bag. The doctor will need to see it.

Place a clean towel between the mother’s legs. If she is bleeding heavily, encourage her to suckle her baby. Make sure mom and baby keep warm when they are transferred in the ambulance to the hospital.

Ask somebody to make you a sweet cup of tea after the ambulance has left! You may feel significantly elated when it’s all over! The miracle of birth.

Life-skills for children

Sometimes parents are so worried about shielding their children from disappointments, they’re afraid to make commitments in case they ‘let them down’ or they shower their children with gifts and extravagant promises when things don’t turn out as planned.

Life is full of disappointments and we all have to learn how to deal with them. This begins in early childhood. A new sibling may turn out to be the ‘wrong’ gender, a play-date can be a disaster, birthday parties sometimes flop. It can rain when you’ve planned a picnic or there’s an electricity outage in the middle of your child’s favourite TV programme.

Children who always get their own way are in for a shock when they start school, and parents who bend over backwards to keep their children happy are only making life harder for themselves and for their child.

Adolescence can be a disappointing wake-up call when hormones tone-down a tween’s popularity status. School-leavers who have not learned to deal with disappointments can feel overwhelmed in the real-world where ‘nobody knows your name’, and they may become depressed.

When things don’t turn out as you anticipated:

• Be honest with your child when you give them the news, with a bit of space to think it through before you jump in with an alternative solution.
• Don’t just tell them the news and walk away. Be there to hug them and wipe away their tears or let them cry and stamp their feet.
• Tell them in an age appropriate way so that they understand – especially when the disappointment is permanent such as when a pet dies.
• Don’t create a new situation by making promises you may not be able to keep. “We can’t go to the zoo today, but I promise you I will take you to the circus the next time they’re in town.” (When did you last see a circus cavalcade?)
• Only make promises that you can absolutely keep.
• Give your child something constructive to do, or spend quality time with your child – bake, make something, go to the library or a book store. Distraction is a great pacifier.
• Make sure your child understands that the situation is not their fault. A child may have to miss a school outing because he has Chicken-Pox. He needs to understand why he has to stay at home because he can make the other children sick and is not being punished for being sick.
• Sometimes children just have to understand that they can’t have karate / dancing / music lessons because their parents can’t afford them. Children who grow up with little learn to appreciate everything they have in life when they’re older.
• Compensate them with hugs and kisses rather than with sweets and toys.

The amazing thing about children is that they soon forget, are easily distracted and are very forgiving. They don’t hold a grudge against their parents or put into their memory bank every little thing that went wrong (even if it was your slip-up) e.g. when “the tooth-fairy forgets to come!”.

Understanding menstruation

We have recently celebrated International Menstruation Hygiene Day with the theme ‘Education’.

Mothers and daughters

It got me thinking. What did your mother tell you about periods? Everything – or nothing? Do you remember the day you had your first period? And, if you’re older than 45, your last when you went through menopause? Do you remember skipping periods and worrying …. am I pregnant?  Do you remember holding your breath when you were hoping to get pregnant and your period was late?

All my mother told me was how to wear a Partex – gauze covered cotton-wool pads with a loop at each end that hooked onto a ‘sanitary-belt’ worn around the waist. I never thought of asking Mom the questions that bothered me: why was the pain so bad sometimes that I had to be fetched from school? Why did I bleed such a lot with clots the size of my thumb? What was that sticky stuff that came from my vagina every now and then?

It was only in my fourth year of nursing, when I studied Midwifery, that periods began to make sense. It was only after having my first baby that period pain subsided. And it was only after I had been through menopause and diagnosed with Lupus (short for SLE or systemic lupus erythematosus) that I realised why my periods had always been so heavy, especially with clots. Luckily, I had never taken the contraceptive pill because this is known to aggravate SLE symptoms and increase the risk for thrombosis.

What I’ve learned over the years is that our bodies work hard to keep major organs in tip-top condition – especially the womb and other reproductive organs. To do this, all systems supporting these organs need to be balanced. This is possible when we live a balanced lifestyle. Eating right, getting enough rest and exercise with equal amounts of work and play. When we give our bodies everything that it needs in the right proportions, our hormones (or endocrine system) – that controls reproduction, metabolism, stress, immunity and sleep cycles – works like a well-oiled machine.  For women, this culminates in having predictable, hassle-free periods. 

What are cycles?

Natural periods come in cycles and not strictly ‘months’. A cycle is calculated from the first day of one period to the first day of the next period, which on average is about 28 days. This is different to a lunar month which is 29.5 days and a calendar month that varies between 28 and 31 days. Unless a woman is taking artificial hormones (contraceptives) to control her cycles, she shouldn’t expect her period to come on the same date every month. If she has a shorter cycle, her period will come earlier. If she has a longer cycle, her period will come later. It’s as simple as that. 

Cycles differ from woman to woman, and are often different for the same woman. Bleeding starts 14 days after ovulation (the ripening and release of an egg or ova). Ovulation is recognised when there is a clear, slippery vaginal mucous. Day one of a period marks the end of one cycle and the beginning of another.

In the past, all focus was on menstruation with ovulation taking a back seat. But today’s woman (ask those struggling with infertility) understands the importance of ovulation – the ‘ring master’ of hormones that balances oestrogen and progesterone and controls the menstrual cycle.

Women today are not shy not to talk about periods to her friends or partner. Women with daughters should not hesitate to tell them about the facts-of-life, starting with ovulation. Teaching women more about ovulation and learning to recognise the signs of this important event will help her to predict when her next period will begin. When women understand their bodies, they’re in-charge – not their gynaecologists.

For more information go to www.kotexsouthafrica.co.za