There are specific cries for each age group: the new-born, the baby and the toddler. Crying can be described as wailing, whimpering or sobbing. Constant crying is like a telephone or alarm that won’t stop ringing! Its torture and enough to try your patience to breaking point – which is a big danger for baby and parent because in extreme circumstances it can lead to the ‘shaken-baby-syndrome’.
Crying tugs on our emotions – it makes us uncomfortable and we want it to stop. Crying is a new-born’s survival tactic to alert mom that it’s time for another feed, nappy change or simply human contact. A new mother has to learn not only how to see to the physical needs of her baby, she also has to learn how to absorb her baby’s distress, and not to add to it by becoming distressed herself! There isn’t a book or blog, course, college or university degree can teach a new mother how to do this – she can only learn this through experience.
The good news is that mothers quickly learn to understand their baby’s cry: whether it’s for hunger, discomfort, pain, illness, boredom or loneliness. It doesn’t help to leave a new-born to cry because this only teaches a baby to cry. When a new-borns needs are met, the baby learns trust and a baby who trusts mom quickly learns that when s/he hears mom’s reassuring voice that help is on its way.
Newborns don’t like to be disturbed – they only want to feed and sleep. Bathing, too much fussing or when they are ‘passed around’ to visitors can make them cranky. Sounds crazy but an overtired baby can cry for hours! It’s as though their own crying keeps them awake!
Tricks to soothe a crying baby:
• Swaddle, swing or sing to your baby
• Be prepared for the evening when baby gets cranky by having dinner ready and the house tidy by 5 pm
• Babies are soothed by warm water – put him/her in the bath with daddy
• Take baby for a walk in the stroller – getting out the house and the exercise will do you good
• Make sure your baby is warm but not hot
• Call a friend to give you a break if you’re all alone and feel that you are reaching ‘breaking point’.
Rule of thumb: A baby with a loud, lusty cry is usually fine! Parents often rush these babies to the ER thinking there must be something seriously wrong. Unless your baby is crying because of a fall, there usually isn’t. But if your baby whimpers as though even just crying is too much of an effort, if your baby is cold and clammy or the fontanelles (soft spots on top of the head) are bulging, THEN you need to go to ER promptly! (This is rare).
Coping with crying is something you are going to have to do for a long time. As your baby grows older, s/he will cry for many different reasons. Children need constant reassuring, and you will learn with experience that every child cries differently. Crying is an emotional need – we all (including men) need to do it from time to time. Crying washes your eyes, un-pops the cork of pent-up emotions, and induces sleep!
