When I went to a conference on ‘Infant Mental Health’ at the University of Cape Town many years ago, I became fascinated with the development of the baby’s brain – especially during the formative years (from birth to school-going age).
Child psychiatrist Joan Luby at St Louis Children’s hospital in Washington, has been able to prove that ‘motherly love and nurturing’ can help babies’ brains grow. “When babies are loved, the growth of the part of the brain called the hippocampus (associated with learning, memories and regulating emotions) is enhanced and this in turn has even been linked with ‘healthier emotional functioning’ when the child becomes a teenager!” she said in an interview.
Luby emphasised that “the parent-child relationship during the preschool period is vital – even more important than when the child gets older.”
This is pretty important stuff AND also very easy to do! As the Beatles sang in the ‘60’s “all we need is love”. So forget the expensive stuff and just …
• Enjoy spending time with your child! Whether it’s ten minutes or an hour, focus on your child and make him feel like the most important person in the universe
• Stop what you are doing, get down to his level so that eye-to-eye, you can ask him what he is nagging you for
• Give your child incentives to do mundane, everyday chores
• Do things together – it doesn’t have to cost anything. Go to the library, the park, the local sports grounds, amateur theatre or events at your local community centre
• Don’t spare hugs and kisses! Once your child goes to school, these will be shunned (especially in public) and positively off the grid when he’s a teenager
• Spend time in the evenings with your child cuddled on your lap for a story! Not only will this colour his imagination, it will teach your child to love reading, and reading is the best way to learn!
• Join a parent-support group or go to parenting workshops where speakers who are specialists in their field, offer advice and support. See more details re: Working Mothers Expo.
• Give yourself ‘time-out’ alone or with your friends where you can enjoy adult company and conversation without interruptions. When you do this, you go home feeling refreshed and revived and ready to give!
Opportunities lost are gone forever. You can’t make it up to your children when you have the money, or the time, or the energy! Just do it. Today.
