When your daughter has her first period
Can you remember your first period?
How many women, I wonder, remember this day as special? It certainly wasn’t for me – my mother gave me a packet
of pads and that was it! After that, I kept my period secret. Especially at
school (and I went to an all-girls school!). Periods were called ‘the curse’ or
‘that time of the month’ (I think they still are). I never understood them and
couldn’t cope with the pain, the mess and the inconvenience. Mostly I felt
ashamed. My skin broke-out in blotches and pimples, I felt wet, smelly and
uncomfortable. I was irritable and lost all self-confidence at ‘that’ time of
the month.
This changed when I studied to be a
midwife. For the first time I learned about something called ovulation and its link with menstruation. I learned to understand
periods and how to cope with them. I could buy my own pads. I started using
tampons.
Now that your little girl is
starting to show signs of puberty – attitude, growth-spurts, sprouting hair and
developing breasts – it’s only fair to psyche yourself (and her) up for ‘the
talk’! Remember, she’s not interested in the wherewithal about sex and or
having a lecture about what not to
do. She’s a millennial remember, so she’s only interested in herself: what’s
going to happen to her and what she can do about it.
Periods start about two years after
the first signs of puberty. The first symptoms of a period are vaginal changes
and ‘panty-wetness’. Girls will notice white patches that may become mucousy,
and change from brown to pink before her period starts. Learning to recognise
these subtle hints and body changes will teach your daughter to understand her
body and uniqueness as a woman. It will help her as she grows older because she
will learn confidence when she feels
in control of her body – especially when it comes to contraceptive choices,
pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding and finally, menopause.
At this early stage, don’t worry
about talking about sperm and boys etc – unless, of course, she asks. Tell her
about her eggs – called ova – and show her a picture of the ovaries where they
have been waiting since she before she was born. Not many women realise this
and that their eggs age, just like they do. By the time a woman is 30, her eggs
are getting ‘old’! Women also don’t realise that it’s the egg that dominates her menstrual cycle and controls her
hormones – mostly oestrogen during the first half of the cycle (just after a
period), and progesterone during the second half of her cycle, after ovulation,
which is about two weeks before her next period starts.
Explain to your daughter that
periods come in cycles – that are, on average, about 28 days – which is a few
days short of a month. This means that she shouldn’t expect her period to start
on the same date every month. A cycle is calculated from the first day of one
period to the first day of the next period and it’s normal for dates to vary. When
a cycle is shorter, her period will start earlier and if her cycle is longer,
her period will start later. It’s as simple as that.
A little more about ovulation. A period
starts about two weeks after
ovulation. If your daughter ovulates
earlier, her cycle will be shorter – and her period will start sooner than she
expected. When ovulation is delayed
(and this can be up to three months in the first two years of having periods)
she may think that she has ‘skipped’ a period – but the reality is she is
having a very l-o-n-g cycle. During the first two years of periods, cycles will
vary from short to long, from heavy to light, sometimes even with ‘spotting’
in-between. Your daughter needs to know this so that she doesn’t stress that
there is something wrong with her. Please don’t put your daughter on the
contraceptive pill to ‘regulate’ her periods. Give her body, hormones,
life-style, diet and health a chance to sort this out naturally. Interfering by
introducing synthetic hormones at this early stage may cause more complications
than solutions.
For more information about periods,
ovulation and cycles, go to the kotex website: www.kotex.co.za or link with Kotex on the side pannel.
