Week 24 Scan

Last week I met a young couple with their two babies. Mom was discretely breast feeding their newbie while Dad was taking care of his sister – a cutie of fourteen months who clearly had Downs Syndrome. She was tiny for her age but chirpy with a cheeky grin that quickly spread over her face into a friendly smile. Her happiness was contagious and she very quickly stole my heart! 

The toddler reminded me of Mark – now a young adult – who also has Downs. His mom came to me for ante-natal classes and to be honest, I was apprehensive when the group met again for post-natal classes. How would mom and the group react? But I needn’t have worried – Mark and mom were so accepting of the situation, they left us feeling humbled and in awe. They had a ‘different’ kind of joy-bonding that was (and still is today) very special. At the baby-gym classes we were all delighted when Mark responded to stimulation. It was a red velvet toy carousal and played a Christmas tune.   

Why am I telling you this? Your 24 week scan is considered one of the most important – mainly because the objective is to confirm that your baby is ‘perfect’. But what if Downs – or an extra digit – or some other congenital anomaly is suspected? What do you do? Who do you turn to for advice? How will you ever know that you made the right decision? 

But, is life ever ‘perfect’? Can we avoid challenges that hit us like meteors? How do we overcome hurdles that seem to be mountains at the time? 

In moments like these, communication, openness and honesty between you and your partner is essential. Talk it through. Draw on family support – but if there is none, contact your religious leader who has been trained to guide you in making a decision. 

Remember too that tests are not absolute! One couple I know who were told their baby had Downs was born without it. I am also familiar with families who have been drawn closer and bonds have been strengthened to give couples courage and support in times of need. It’s a human strength that’s too often overlooked by modern society. Listen to your inner voice. 

Pelvic pain during pregnancy

Ligaments are like elastic bands that support the womb and hold the pelvis together. When they’re forced to stretch, you feel the pain. A hormone called relaxin helps them to do this – but relaxin also affects other support structures of the pelvis (namely the hip joints, spine and the pubic cartilage) making these temporarily ‘unstable’. By your third trimester the baby is well and truly in your abdomen (stretching all your clothes and directing you to the Preggie department) and you will feel more comfortable (well … sort of!)

What can you do about this?

•  Slowly manoeuvre yourself when getting out of the bed in the mornings 

•  Do the same when getting out of the car

•  And standing up after you have been sitting 

•  Heat is the best pain reliever – take a long warm bath when you can or use a hot water bottle or heated pad during the day

•  Look for Carriwell Maternity support bands or Maternity flexi belts at stores like Baby City, Babies ‘R’Us, Baby boom or selected Clicks or Dis-Chem pharmacies 

•  Sleep with a pillow between your knees

•  Go to ante-natal exercise classes, swim in a heated pool or if you’re very uncomfortable, go for physio and learn about which exercises you can do

•  Make ginger tea (shave fresh roots, add boiling water and honey for taste) – it’s great for inflammation and very refreshing!

•  Relief from pain killers is short-lived – don’t use them without speaking to your doctor/midwife.

When should you worry?

•  If the pain gets worse to the point of being unbearable it could be something unrelated to pregnancy – for example an appendix, bladder infection or ovarian cyst. 

•  If you have the following, please speak to your doctor/midwife today. 

•  Abnormal discharge

•  Vaginal bleeding

•  Nausea and vomiting

•  Abdominal cramping.

Colds & flu during pregnancy

At one time it was thought that pregnant women had a weakened immune system so that her body would not reject her baby, but a 2014 study at the Stanford University Medical Centre has found that pregnant women have an unusually strong immune response to influenza. This may also explain why pregnant women get sicker from the flu than other healthy adults! And that’s why it’s important for pregnant women to have the flu shot.

•  Don’t take over-the-counter medications if you’re not feeling well – even herbal and homeopathic. You should speak to your doctor/midwife first.

•  Seasonal fruit is rich in vitamin C and as we know, this vitamin helps to boost immunity. Because it’s water-soluble, vitamin C needs to be taken every day. Eating an orange a day – the pulp and the juice – will give you fresh vitamin C in the perfect dose for your daily needs!

•  Viruses travel in the air and it’s easy to breathe them in. Avoid busy people-places e.g. malls over week-ends, music concerts where people stand closely together and crowded lifts. If the lift is full – wait for the next one!

•  Germs stick to equipment, furniture and hand-rails, especially in public places. Wipe the telephone receiver before using it – especially when the previous user has a cold.

•  Politely avoid kissing and hugging strangers (or people you know) who have a cold. Sick people should stay at home rather than being a martyr and going to work where they only spread their germs!

•  Wash your hands before eating or preparing food

•  Find ways to reduce stress because it can affect immunity. Read, meditate, use lavender oil in your bath, listen to music, take a brisk walk or a slow walk through the park.

•  Go to bed early and get up early to avoid the early morning rush. Make lists, get organized so you don’t stress or lie awake at night worrying away when you should be sleeping! 

•  Keep covered if you’re having night-sweats. Throwing off all your blankets when you’re wet can quickly make you cold – and sudden changes in body temperature challenges your immune system.

•  Eat a variety of green, yellow and red fruits and vegetables every day – these give you a variety of vitamins that you need.

•  There’s some truth to the nutritional benefits of home-made chicken soup as well as the comfort and enjoyment of eating it – especially in the company of somebody special in your life!

International Breastfeeding Week 2015

Breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks and it takes time for mothers and babies to get it right. After struggling through the first few days, and then weeks, mother and baby usually start enjoying the experience by the time her maternity leave is up! Then it’s back to work and the end of breastfeeding!

This is a pity because the benefits of breastfeeding far outweigh the initial inconveniences and difficulties. If men had babies, maternity leave would be much longer and the work place would provide crèche facilities so that babies could be fed during working hours!

But since this is not to be, working mothers can arrange to work shorter hours or she could minimize breastfeeding to the mornings and evenings when she is home with her baby. Hand and electric pumps are useful to express breastmilk during the day while she is at the office – but finding a suitably clean and private place to do this is often a problem. Stored EBM (expressed breast milk) in the office fridge is either frowned on or joked about – much to the mother’s embarrassment. 

With the economy nosediving and the cost of living and child care escalating, many women are taking advantage of modern technology and setting up office from home (even if it’s only a small table with a printer and space for a laptop) and popping into the office once or twice a week. Income can be earned by investing in a sewing machine and becoming creative, whisking up cakes for restaurants, making healthy sandwiches for the school tuckshop or cooking meals for other families. 

Motherhood does not mean shelving years of studying or working hard to earn your place on the corporate ladder – but lost quality time with your baby and children can never be reclaimed no matter how successful you become. Extra money to buy, buy, buy doesn’t impress children, but they do enjoy it when you give them your time and attention. When women are so busy trying to keep everybody (husband, boss, day mother, employer and taxman) happy, the little people they brought into this world are often the first to be ignored. 

Self-employed from home can and has become a full-time, successful career for many women. It takes guts, help and co-operation from your partner, energy, determination and perseverance – but it is possible.  I don’t regret doing it – and I don’t think my children do either!