Starting school

Schooling years should teach your child:

•  Social skills

•  How to develop their unique intelligence

•  To learn languages 

•  To ask questions and keep looking for the right answers. 

•  How well your child copes with school will depend on his/her health, personality traits and what’s happening at home.

Health:  

Children don’t enjoy school if they’re always sick. When a child has a known illness, this should be discussed with the teacher at the start of every new school year. Children’s eyesight, hearing, teeth and diet should be checked regularly. In an ideal world every school has a school nurse to do this. In the absence of school nurses, parents need to be vigilant and take action when they think there is a problem. Teachers also need to be on the look-out. 

Sometimes simple things like worms, hunger or sugar overload can affect a child’s concentration. Additives, colourants and food preservatives can make some children agitated and hyperactive. 

•  Family meals should be balanced: fruit and vegetables, proteins and carbohydrates in proportion to age and activity

•  Outdoor play-time should override indoor TV time to boost exercise and fun in the sun

•  Children need at least 12 hours undisturbed sleep every night.

Personality:

Studies in the 1950’s by a group of New York doctors, Chess, Thomas and Birch identified nine personality traits in children. 

School classrooms are filled with children who learn very differently. Teachers don’t have the time or the capacity to focus on every child’s personality. Children have to learn to conform to the system and parents need to help them do this. 

1.  Activity level: Even before they’re born, some children are hyperactive in the womb, summersaulting and using the umbilical cord as a jump rope. These children thrive on testing boundaries.  Other children who are naturally docile, prefer to watch, wait and see

2.  Predictable: Some babies seem to follow instructions from baby books and magazines! They thrive on routine. But other children get bored and even agitated with the same-old, same-old and need creative outlets to keep them motivated 

3.  Children respond differently to new situations or events, even tastes, sights or experiences. While some are keen to try something new, others are cautious, hesitant or even afraid

4.  Adaptability: While some children struggle when circumstances change, others adapt with ease 

5.  Environment: Some children may be sun / noise / cold sensitive and this can affect their mood or behaviour

6.  Every child’s response intensity varies – e.g. either they cry, object, protest very loudly or simply sulk, withdraw or cry 

7.  Children are born with a unique personality. While some are optimistically cheerful, others are serious and gloomy. Most are a little bit of both!

8.  Focus and concentration: Some children quickly engage and become engrossed in an activity. Others quickly lose interest

9.  Intensity of concentration: This depends on whether the child is easily distracted or not.

Circumstances at home:

Children need the security of a happy home where they feel safe and loved. They need to feel part of the family. When parents are disorganized, children feel insecure. They do well at school if:

•  They’re encouraged to be creative. TV, computer games and i-pad time should be limited

•  The family spends outdoor time together 

•  When parents pay attention to their child e.g. when he finds something unusually exciting or has a problem to work through

•  The family can turn everyday circumstances into a game

•  When parents take the time to listen and talk to their child 

It’s also important to develop self-esteem and confidence in children:

•  Love teaches children trust and confidence 

•  Listen to your child and show a genuine interest when he has a problem 

•  Treat your child with respect 

•  Have realistic expectations. 

Time to face 2016

I understand that life is not all about ‘happy holidays’ and ‘walking on the sunny side of the street’. Every day brings new challenges that we can’t avoid. As a new mom you may be struggling with coping with motherhood – an almost alien word today. Your confidence may be shattered after trying to understand this tiny baby who does not comply with advice from friends and family, magazines, baby-books and blogs! Every minute of every hour in every day is taken up by your baby – and your nerves may feel like tightly stretched violin strings! But remember, when the bow gently caresses these strings they can make beautiful music!

Bring this music into your every day:

Accept the situation: Don’t hanker after your ‘past life’ and mourn the loss of independence and ‘self’. Don’t take things personally either – your baby does not mean to make life difficult for you. Talk to other moms – knowing that you’re not alone helps.

Re-circuit your brain: Learn to ‘switch-off’ negative currents (your body is different, maternity-leave has left you feeling lonely and derailed, your partner has no idea how you feel) and ‘switch-on’  positive currents – get organized, pre-plan outings, make time for yourself (even if it’s only a luxurious candle-lit-champagne-bubble bath!)  

Nurture ‘happiness hormones’ without chemicals: Take up jogging (begin by walking), dance (with your baby) or go back to gym. Bake a tray of cup-cakes or cookies, read, start a vegetable garden, revive dormant talents – draw, sing, join a knitting or sewing circle, go back to book-club!

Spend time with positive people: I found these in organizations like Toastmasters International, La Leché League, Writers 2000, MAD (Make A Difference) knitters, CIA (Christians In Action). Your librarian or church pastor may have contact details. 

Register for a short-course: Learn another language; or cake-icing, how to sew or make wicker baskets, chocolate Easter eggs, micro-wave cooking, gourmet meals or healthy eating. These are usually offered at the community centre. They’re fun, inexpensive and balance your life. 

Learn to pray: Surviving is a daily challenge. Every day means starting all over again! There is no fairy godmother to wave her magic wand or Mary Poppins to snap her fingers! We have to do it for ourselves. Praying is very easy really. It’s simply communicating with God within.     

Stop worrying: It’s like praying for something you don’t want to happen!

Trust your instincts: Listen to the voice from within. It’s usually right!

Keep a diary: It helps to document your aspirations and successes.

Thank God for your blessings: Your baby’s first smile, an act of kindness (when you least expect it), refreshing rain, warm sunshine, water when you’re thirsty, companionship from your partner, true friends who understand you.

Do something for somebody else – their appreciation will treble your happiness!