Parenthood
– the ultimate endurance test.
I was watching a reality TV show called the ‘Ultimate Endurance Test’. It's about people who attempt (and mostly achieve)
the impossible. I was also flipping through a baby magazine when my eye caught the
winning letter. It was from a mom
describing how excited she was about becoming a mom when she was pregnant,
but what a shock motherhood was when her baby was born.
The devastated new mom wrote about
coming home from the hospital with a baby who cried, pooped and puked non-stop
24/7! She described her life as a living nightmare asking how it was possible
that a tiny baby could reduce her to a nervous wreck, undermine her confidence
and shatter her dreams of being the ‘perfect mother’!
I looked back at the TV and watched
a mountaineer clinging to sheer rock, surrounded by nothingness. I knew just
how this mother felt.
Nothing can prepare you for the
realities of early parenthood. Life in the fast lane dictates that to be
successful, men and women have to achieve academically or climb to the top of the
corporate ladder. Motherhood in particular, is low on the priority list. Women with children
in the work-place (isn’t that most of us) are sometimes labelled ‘problematic’
because they often need extra time off work when their children are sick, and
they’re supposedly not always focused on what’s important for the business.
So, moms (and dads) out there, here are some
coping tips I’ve learned over the years.
- Work smart. Learn to take short cuts. Ask for help. Offer to help when you can (this puts you in credit for when you need help). Learn time-saving tricks.
- Learn to say no when it’s only your reputation that’s at stake or when you know that saying yes will only make your life difficult.
- Teach your family to help. It will boost their confidence and make them feel important rather than an expensive appendage. Give each child an age-appropriate responsibility.
- Do things to the best of your ability, but don’t expect perfection. It will drive you crazy. Remember that for your children, everything is practice. For you, it’s the real-deal. Our priorities are very different.
- Preparation is everything! If you’re hoping for a successful outcome, put all your effort into the preparation. Teach your children to do the same.
Day-to-day life with a new-born who
quickly becomes a toddler, then a child (or children when siblings are added),
tweens and finally teens is the ultimate endurance test. It’s also the ultimate
learning curve for moms and dads who, fortunately, mostly take on this
challenge with determination to reach the finish-line together, as a family. Believe
me, while it also takes patience, persistence and perseverance, the rewards (in
years to come) are well worth the effort!
