Five
weeks to go. Hannah’s calling herself: ‘Fatty sitting on the sofa’
It’s been a week filled with fear
and anxiety for all South Africans. Hannah* too. In fact, she’s been ‘down the
rabbit hole’ of despair, calling it an ‘overwhelming week’.
Why
has this happened?
Prolonged Covid isolation
Feeling hopeless and helpless in
light of the country’s carnage
Feeling guilty that she is safe
while others are in danger
Wondering what kind of world she is
bringing their child into?
Asking herself: Will I be a good
mom? And …
Will I ever be ‘me’ again?
I love Hannah’s honesty. She’s not covering up this stage of her pregnancy in a bubble of maternal bliss. Coming
from a marketing background, Hannah knows all about unrealistic ‘window
dressing’, social media platforms that make pregnancy look like a breeze,
glossy magazines with gorgeous models and photoshopped pictures depicting
pregnancy and motherhood as heavenly bliss.
What’s
happening to Hannah – and all pregnant women at this stage:
Pregnancy brings about both
physical and emotional changes. During the first trimester, a woman’s thoughts
are self-centered: ‘I’m pregnant'. In the second trimester, especially once she
feels her baby move, her thoughts are ‘I’m having a baby'. In the last
trimester, she realises, ‘I’m going to be a mom’. It's scary!
Hannah, a self-confessed ‘fashion
queen’, socialite and people’s person who loves giving spur-of-the-moment
dinner parties, enjoying a glass of wine or two with her girlfriends, relishing
freedom and independence, is already mourning the loss of her ‘old self’ and
has begun the journey of rediscovering who she is.
The pressure of deadlines and
putting out fires in the chaos of the marketing world kept Hannah on her toes.
The adrenaline rush gave her energy, and the success of pulling off yet another
project gave her a sense of achievement. Now she’s is struggling to come to
terms with losing her job, the loss of income, and finding a new job in the New Year.
Covid restrictions have put just
about everybody under house arrest. This means no more browsing malls and
spending time in a coffee shop or book store. All we can do is wear a mask, arm
ourselves with a sanitizer, avoid other shoppers, buy what we need and hurry
home.
And then there are the physical
changes of pregnancy. Hannah says she’s feeling ‘fat’ but she is just full of her baby, placenta, and amniotic fluid. Now her belly is getting in the way of her
mobility, and simple things like getting in and out of bed, or off the sofa, are getting more and more difficult.
Many women struggle with mood
swings that Hannah has managed (so far) to avoid. Feeling happy one minute,
then bursting into tears the next, is common and confusing during pregnancy.
How
is Hannah coping?
“Being able to talk to my mom is a
big help,” Hannah told me. Her sister, who has a young baby, is on ‘speed
dial’. Hannah is also attending online prenatal classes and benefitting from
good advice from her midwife.
We discussed what Hannah has
achieved so far: the nursery is ready, Hannah’s health is good, the date of her
c-section has been set and her paperwork is in order (search ‘paperwork’ on
the gadgets column for this post).
Now Hannah needs to fill her days
with something constructive and creative, with an activity that’s easy and
practical to do (the link to ’44 life-giving hobbies for tired moms’ is also on
the gadgets column). Hannah has done a few color-in pictures, and painting.
This week she is going to try hand-crafts like knitting. It’s relaxing,
constructive, enjoyable, and easy to do.
* We’re sharing Hannah’s journey
through the last few weeks of her pregnancy. If you missed the first blog,
check out last week’s post.
