What's going to happen in 2021?

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2021 here we come ….

It’s the day before New Year and we’re all wondering how we are going to cope with yet another year of Covid. I certainly am.

 Looking back on 2020, we have been amongst the lucky who have, so far, avoided this nasty virus. But it’s taken dedication to self-isolate, shopping minimally, wiping EVERYTHING before bringing it indoors, wearing a mask and visor in public spaces, and hand-washing. Every time I have been to the hospital I have stripped, showered, and washed my hair when I came home. It’s a hassle and heart-wrenching when you can’t visit family, friends, and grandchildren. But it’s something we simply HAVE to do. And KEEP doing. No short cuts.

One good old-fashioned way of survival is work. Hard work. It’s how our ancestors overcame challenges, and how our current generation is coping. Simply knuckling down and drowning our sorrows, aggravations and frustrations, disappointments, bad luck, and disasters by attacking the problem physically gives you a sense of achievement when you manage to solve your own problems.

 If poor health (and advancing age) deprives you from physical work, keep busy in other ways. Read, write if you can. Get busy with handcrafts – teach yourself with you-tube if you don’t know how or Pinterest if you don’t know what. Dance. Sing. Meditate or try yoga. Paint a mural or mosaic a pot or a wall. Teach yourself tatting or simply colour in. Make plasticine figurines, decorate a doll's house, compose a song, create a game, resurrect a hobby, pour over photographs, write letters, phone a friend, start a blog. Get the idea? Options are endless. Lazing on the couch eating potato chips is NOT an option. It makes you fat, lazy and depressed.

To all my dedicated readers, thank you for your support. Let’s move into 2021 with determination to succeed, to support one another and to keep looking upwards – mountaineers will tell you, never to look back or down. Focus on where you are here and now and keep your eye on your next step forward. Stay safe and don’t let your guard down – even when others throw caution to the wind. They won’t be there if you find yourself in ICU.

“When the cares of my heart are many, thy consolations cheer my soul”. Psalm 94:19          

Inseperable Mother-Love

The bonds of Mother-Love

On Sunday, 27^th December 2020, we said farewell to our firstborn, his charming wife and two of our six grandchildren.  Like the tiny parachute dandelion seeds, the children (and grandchild) have, one-by-one, wriggled free and floated away to settle in foreign lands, re-rooting the family tree. Our eldest and youngest sons have both returned to their ancestral, paternal roots. It may be a long time before we see them again.

Can a mother forget her firstborn? Or the birth of any of her children? Even stillborn. Especially stillborn.   

 

I remember when my firstborn was the first conceived. So sure was I that one single ova, patiently awaiting the arrival of the winning sperm – a Y sperm – to pair up with her microscopic, spiralling chromosomes to start a new life. I knew that we had made a boy, named him there and then and predicted the date of his birth in ten lunar months’ time. As it turned out, my calculation was pretty spot-on - only ten days out (earlier) and yes, there he was, loud and in my face – the way he has been for the past forty years - his little mouth wide open wide, crying with all his might, terrified by the sudden escape to freedom, arms waving wildly, the fresh morning air cold on his wet, warm body. It felt so natural to find myself lying unashamedly naked and exhausted, my distended abdomen deflated like a hot air balloon. I could see my pubic hair for the first time in months. My instincts were to enfold this little alien creature into my arms in a bear hug and to hold him over my heart where he could hear the familiar and reassuring drumming of my heartbeat. It’s no wonder that teenagers, during yet another turbulent time in their lives, turn up the music volume to hear the rhythmic beat of drums, mimicking the lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub of their mother’s heartbeat while they were snug and safe in the protective confines of her womb.

If you’re pregnant or have recently given birth, hold onto this special time because it’s precious and will be stamped into your subconscious forever. As you grow wiser and older, you will forget the pain, the wondering if you will make ‘a good mother’ and the overwhelming ying-yang of hormones wrenched from a constant supply during pregnancy (thanks to the placenta), now redirected by the pituitary gland in the brain to the breasts. This initiates oxytocin-the love hormone – that helps a new mother bond with her baby despite insecurities and the indescribable pain of labour and giving birth. Oxytocin stimulates the muscles around the milk-producing alveoli to contract, and the womb to keep contracting until it gets back to its original size (the size of your clenched fist) over the next six weeks. Breast cells, in turn, are stimulated by another hormone called prolactin (meaning pro-lactation) that initiates the process of making milk. At first, this is in minuscule amounts until your baby has emptied your breasts of colostrum* - or ‘first milk’ – and needs more than 5mls (1 teaspoonful) per feed.

A mother’s link to her baby is stronger than an umbilical cord. Made from living cells, a combination of her partner's sperm and her ova, moving freely, growing with the love of her beating heart, the bond grows stronger over the years. Distances and circumstances, and even death, will never pull them apart because they are, and will always be, spiritually bonded.

* More about this ‘liquid gold’ in my next blog.

       

 

Getting into the Christmas spirit

Surviving the Christmas Holidays

It’s been a long year – especially for parents, teachers and children. On the one hand, it was like one long holiday, but on the other, school has been disrupted and children have spent more time at home than ever. In a way, this makes the Christmas holidays a bit of an anti-climax.  But, with a bit of effort, some imagination and planning, you can make it the Best Christmas Eva!

Start by helping your children write a list of things they can do and what they’ll need. Some items can be found at granny’s house, tucked away in cupboards or from thrift or charity shops, craft, stationery and haberdashery stores, second-hand book shops, party-supplies, and Crazy stores. Under 10s love dressing up and giving concerts; big cardboard boxes can give hours of creative fun as can old curtains and blankets turned into tents or garden theatres. When the weather is sunny, children should play outside. Collect small balls and empty cans as targets, plastic bottles make jaunty ‘skittles’, bean bags to throw, cardboard rolls make mock-swords or puppets, make a skipping rope or a hobby-horse with an old sock on a broom-stick. When it’s indoor weather, get your children to help you make pancakes (recipe included) or teach them handcrafts e.g. Pinterest and Suzelle DIY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhXt436oh2o)  are jam-packed with amazing ideas. Bubbles are ideal when the air is moist and cool. Old socks make ideal puppets and good old-fashioned board games like snakes and ladders or snap can keep children entertained (at least for a while).

Get into the Christmas spirit by putting up the tree and getting the children to make the decorations e.g. threaded popcorn or fruit-loops on a string. Children can help you bake biscuits or make Christmas cards for family and friends. TV and video games should be kept as a treat for good behaviour.

When choosing Christmas presents, make sure that most of the play comes from the child. Check the age for choking hazards and double-check cheap toys for lead paint. Avoid balloons – they’re a serious choking hazard. When choosing a musical toy, avoid cheap imitations because their tone could spoil a naturally musical ear. When braaiing or using candles, cooking, boiling and frying make sure little children are well out of the danger range of getting burned. This can happen so quickly.        

For the pancakes you will need:

500 MLS Dewfresh Cultured Buttermilk

2 cups cake flour

4 tsp baking powder

Pinch salt

(option) 1 tsp ground ginger

3 table-spoons sugar

3 table-spoons cooking oil

1 egg

You do:

Mix dry ingredients together

Beat egg with the oil, add the buttermilk and blend with the dry ingredients.

Heat a heavy-bottomed pan and melt a pat of butter to prevent sticking. Put one spoonful batter evenly spaced (about 3 pancakes) and put the lid on for a few minutes – or until the batter bubbles. Then turn the pancake over and cook the other side (no need to use the lid for the second side). Spread with honey, molasses, jam or syrup while hot and enjoy! Yum!

 

 

 

 

 

Talk to your daughter about breast cancer

 

Think Pink this October

Here we are into the second week of October and I have neglected my blog. It’s true. The more time you have on your hands, the less you do.

October is the ‘Pink Month’ – the month we focus on Breast Cancer Awareness. I know this topic may make you want to skip this blog, but I listened to an interesting webinar yesterday afternoon presented by Dr. Johnathan James from Nottingham Breast Institute (UK) made me sit up and pay attention to a topic we hear about so often. Many women (including me) may be blasé when it comes to breast cancer and lumps, but this type of cancer is one of the easiest malignancies to detect, and treated early, it is often possible to spare women an early and painful death.

The webinar conducted by Doctor James was about CESM or Contrast-Enhanced Spectral Mammography reading, and consisted of a variety of case-studies where lump detection by the women was followed-up with diagnostic tests conducted at the clinic. Most of the women were in the 30 – 50 age group, with a few in their early sixties. Most of the lumps were found in the left breast, and for the lucky few, their lumps were found to be non-malignant or simply cysts or an abscess that could be drained. Closer examination and CESM screening sometimes found sinister, hidden lumps or additional lesions and a biopsy confirmed their malignancy. While some women only had the lump removed, others received extensive chemotherapy or had a total mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.

My maternal grandmother had breast cancer. She had a mastectomy when she was in her early 60’s. Ouma had given birth to five daughters and never used contraceptive hormones. She lived a healthy and vigorous life, ate healthily (she and Oupa owned a poultry farm) and she hardly ever needed to see a doctor which means, in essence, that she was low risk. Yet, where did those cancer cells come from and what precautions should I be taking? What should I be telling my daughters?

Dr. James reminded me to book another mammogram the next time I go to the hospital. It must be at least two to three years since my last mammogram. It’s a procedure I don’t particularly enjoy, depending on the radiographer. Some are kinder and gentler, but there have been occasions when it feels as though my breasts are being ‘snack-witched’ between those machines, or that woman behind the screen is doing her best to pop them. Once I cried it was so painful, but that may also have been my Lupus talking.

It’s always a relief when your test comes back negative. Remember, you’re more at risk when there is a family history of breast cancer, if you don’t have children, if you had your first baby over 35, and if you did not breast-feed. Oestrogen overload from hormonal contraceptives puts women more at risk, especially if she started these as a teenager. Girls who start their periods very young (some girls start as young as nine) and go through menopause after 50 also have extra oestrogen. Before booking a mammogram, find out from your medical aid what costs are covered. If you don’t have medical aid or these costs are not covered, you can go to a government hospital. You may have to wait longer to get an appointment (up to six months) and you will have to get to the hospital early and wait in a queue, but it’s worth getting the test done. If you’re taking out a life insurance policy, consider including a dread-disease cover.

   

 

 

Coping with Covid-19 and pain associated depression

 

When Pain + Stress = Depression

It’s been shown that ongoing pain can lead to depression. Add stress (as has happened during Covid-19) and life can become very miserable. Bloemfontein-based psychiatrist, Dr. Fanie Meyer, warns that when this happens and is not treated, BDFN or Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor become blocked, and the brain literally begins to shrink.  

Is this is reversible?

Depression and Covid-19 are friends. Even Pollyanna’s and the most resilient optimists are beginning to wilt under the pressure of non-pharmaceutical interventions (wearing a mask, hand washing, and social distancing), job losses and economic meltdown. Add stress hormones, and these can block proteins that help the brain to grow and develop new connections that feed nerve cells to the brain and spinal cord. This is BDFN.

Living with pain can begin with unresolved physical and emotional childhood traumas. Over the years, these can become exaggerated, especially when they’re ignored or treatment is unsuccessful. Pain issues can resurface when there’s unresolved stress. Pain also goes hand-in-hand with surgery and even the aftermath of childbirth. It can begin with work and sport-related overuse of joints and muscles. Pain is associated with many chronic illnesses like fibromyalgia and is the trophy of old age.

As if pain, stress and depression are not enough to deal with, other problems like sleep issues (too much or too little), nausea and appetite changes leading to weight gain or loss, compromised immunity – which means getting sick more often – IBS or irritable bowel syndrome (constipation and diarrhea) and brain dysfunction – forgetfulness and memory loss – are often added to the mix.

The good news is that there IS something you can do about this. 

How to get started:

Pain and depression:

·        See a doctor. You are likely to be prescribed antidepressants, and other medications for annoying discomforts like constipation or insomnia

·        Be patient because it takes at least three months before you will see results

·        Keep a pain-score-chart to monitor pain levels, grading 1 for minimal pain to 10 for severe pain. This will help to monitor your progress.

Manage your stress:

·           Only use social media platforms and information you can trust

·           Find your ‘power-person’ or mentor

·           Get help from an occupational therapist/pastor/psychologist/reflexologist and other complementary interventions like yoga, hypnosis or acupuncture

·           Don’t neglect yourself – when you look good you feel great

·           Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night

·           Never underestimate the power of prayer and meditation.

 

Improve your BDNF levels by:

Eating healthy, avoiding synthetic sugar and taking Omega 3 supplements

Have a daily routine: make sure you’re eating, sleeping, working and giving yourself

time off regularly throughout the day

Spend time outdoors in the sunshine

Listen to music

Use heat and Panado to keep your pain under control

Take all medications as prescribed

Stimulate your brain cells – playing cards, sudoku, crosswords, scrabble, quizzes, reading and writing

Make time for your children, family and friends.