Good to know...

When I used to go to the schools to do the sex education I would talk to young girls about periods and reproduction, and I used a pear to show them the size and shape of the womb. Cut a pear in half with the stalk pointing downwards, and the rounded top end looks like the body of the womb with the cervix represented as the lower, longer end of the pear. A pip in the middle demonstrated perfectly where the baby starts to grow. The thick pulp represented the three layers of muscles that thin out over the nine months of pregnancy when the growing baby stretches the womb.

‘Avocados and pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female – and they look just like these organs. Today’s research shows that when a woman eats 1 avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight and prevents cervical cancers.’ 

What’s more …. it’s avocado season now, so tuck into those avo’s ladies …. they’re good for you!   

Afraid of labour pain? Here's some comforting information...

More recently men have been experimenting with ‘labour stimulators’ to feel what giving birth is all about. From 100 Chinese men in a hospital in Shandong, to Kim Dean in the US who was recently viewed over 1,7 million times on YouTube ‘writhing and screaming in pain’ (according to a Daily Telegraph report) when connected to a device that made his recti and abdominal muscles contract the way the womb does during labour. 

But doing this is a distorted replay of labour and can make pregnant women frightened. Women need to know that her body has been designed – muscles, hormones, ligaments and joints – for labour and giving birth.

Here’s how:

•  Pre-labour contractions begin slowly and gently (called Braxton-Higgs) a few weeks before labour begins

•  During active labour, contractions begin at the top of the womb (called the fundus) and ripple towards the cervix (mouth of the womb) gradually changing the shape of the womb to ‘thin out’ and open the cervix. This is called dilation

•  Contractions come and go – they begin, peak then end

•  There is no pain between contractions

•  During labour the body produces endorphins (a natural morphine) to help woman cope with the pain

•  The hormone called relaxin allows the pelvic ligaments and joints to stretch and widen the birth canal

•  When women feel comfortable and unhurried (at home or in hospital with the help of sensitive midwives) she can choose which position is comfortable for her – and change it according to her needs

•  The practice of leaving women to lie on their backs in the ‘stranded beetle position’ during labour is obsolete.

Childbirth (Lamaze) classes, aim to take the FEAR out of giving birth. Fear enhances pain by increasing stress levels. Massage, gentle music, dim lights, warm water, soothing words of comfort and encouragement all help a woman to work with her body during labour contractions. In this way, survival hormones are released. Women have coped with this incredible event called giving birth since the dawn of time – and will continue to do so and do cope surprisingly well with support rather than interference. 

Chat to your midwife or doctor about this. 

Factoring personal ambition into the mom equation...

While every woman’s circumstances are different, she needs to ask herself ‘where to from here?’ If you’re going back to your same job after maternity leave, is there an opportunity for promotion? If you’re lucky enough to stay at home, what will you do? Is it possible to work mornings or part-time from home? How can you work towards these preferences? Can you study part-time, take a sabbatical or wait for the next intake of students if your studies have been interrupted by pregnancy? Is it possible for your career to take a whole new direction so you can follow your dreams – buy a sewing machine and learn dressmaking, learn cake-decorating and catering, become an entrepreneur, buy yourself a camera and take up photography, pick up your paint brushes and finish your art degree, buy a keyboard and teach music appreciation at the nursery schools, take up pole dancing for fun and exercise, register for a correspondence course in writing, study part-time for a BCom or a BA or a MA in Creative Brand Leadership for example. The possibilities are endless but the opportunities and practicalities of reaching these goal posts may seem insurmountable!

Have you heard the expression: You can eat an elephant – but only one spoonful at a time? Projects take time, effort and commitment -  but if you persist and persevere with patience, you will succeed!

List your goals:

•  What would you like to do?
•  How can you make this happen?
•  Is this affordable?
•  Where do you start?

Looking back on my life, between having babies and bringing them up, I kept up with my nursing by going to workshops, conferences and seminars whenever I could – and ran Childbirth Education classes from the local community centre. I did a sewing course and made track-suits when they were trendy, a toy-making course, calligraphy classes, Bible Study, writing and public-speaking courses, computer classes, mother-baby exercise classes. I met amazing people who encouraged and motivated me. I made new friends. This boosted my confidence and renewed my energy and zest for life.. 

Can you cut costs and put that extra money into a special savings account so you can pay for what you want to do? Will your man support your project and be prepared to share the responsibilities of looking after the baby? How many years will it take – and what will you achieve in the end?

If anybody would like to share their success story, please get in touch with me on the face book page! I would love to hear from you.

Recap of Burn Awareness Week...

Children who start a fire will often hide in a cupboard or under a bed because they know that they are in trouble. Teach them that you love them even when they are naughty or foolish; that if they do something bad, to hide is the worst thing that they can do.

Tips from the NGO ‘Children of Fire’: 

•  During a power cut, use candles in a secure holder (not a saucer) or a bottle with sand
•  Don’t leave candles near a curtain or anything inflammable
•  Don’t leave a “night light” or short fat candles on the edge of a bath – it could burn through the plastic
•  Don’t leave candles (and matches) unattended or with children 
•  Turn off your stove and any other heating device
•  Use torches
•  Buy a fire extinguisher and get it serviced annually
•  Buy a smoke alarm
•  Have a fire drill and:
•  Teach your family an escape route
•  Identify the weakest family members (little ones and grandparents usually) and talk about how they would get out if there is a fire
•  Agree where the keys are and make sure even young children learn how to use them, especially if you have burglar bars
•  Teach the children to crawl low under smoke (the air is cleanest close to the ground)
•  Teach children to get out, even if the grownups keep sleeping (maybe already overcome by smoke).

Check your household electricity:

•  80 per cent of electrical compliance certificates (in South Africa) are false
•  Contact the Electrical Contractors Association of South Africa and ask for advice on electrical safety
•  If you have recently bought a house, the Department of Labour (applying the
•  Occupational Health and Safety Act) can confirm if your Compliance Certificate is genuine or false.

The most common burns are still due to hot liquids:

•  Keep little children out of the kitchen where there are boiling pots on the stove
•  Make sure that handles are turned towards the wall
•  Don’t drink hot tea with a small child on your lap in case you spill. 

Don’t abuse appliances:

•  Heater to dry clothes
•  Stove as a heater.

For more information about Children of Fire go to: www.firechildren.org @ChildrenOfFire or 

011 726 6529

Baby's development in the first trimester

Your baby developed from an egg (zygote) to a morula (Latin meaning ‘mulberry’ because that’s what it looks like) in the first few days of fertilization. Before implanting into the womb these cells are called a blastocyst. Once they’re safely tucked into the womb lining (called the endometrium – which should have been your period) the placenta, amniotic bag (where your baby grows in a ‘sea’ of ‘waters’ – it’s slightly salty) primitive human cells, your baby, begin to develop. 

On day 28 your baby is about 4 mm long with an independent beating heart and is called an embryo. From nine weeks it becomes a foetus and is finally called a baby from six months. By the end of your first trimester, your baby is over the most hazardous part of the journey. From now on everything will gradually grow bigger, longer and heavier – that’s why you need another six months to be pregnant!

You’re normal if you’re having:

•  Severe all day ‘morning’ sickness

•  Emotional wobblies

•  Serious forgetfulness

•  Unbelievable exhaustion

You’re normal if you’re feeling:

•  Frumpy

•  Angry and disappointed

•  Sensitive and insecure

•  Anxious with heart palpitations, shaky hands and dry mouth!

It's okay if you’re not:

•  Happy and excited

•  Interested in baby paraphernalia

•  Or sex

•  Or your bigger boobs!

Who is your mother?

In the last few days before Mom died, she was seriously disorientated. My youngest brother Bernard spent the penultimate day of Mom’s life with her at the hospital and after enjoying Bernard’s company for a good while, Mom asked: “Who is your Mother?”

Bernard wrote in Mom’s eulogy: “We knew her memory was fading fast, but this question seemed to come from her soul and not her mind. Instead of answering her right away, I looked deep into her eyes and knew where the question was coming from.”

Mother’s Day is not about perfume or breakfast in bed. It shouldn’t even be on a specified day – Mother’s Day should be spontaneous. It should be unique and personal, intimate – perhaps even sanctified. It’s the day when your mother is ‘there’ for you, turning up unexpectedly, when she surprises you with something special, it’s the day she paid your bale, or a fine or an outstanding debt. Mother’s Day is the day your mother sat at your sickbed, or went with you to the doctor or took you out for lunch. Mother’s Day is the day you finally understood what your mother did for you, why she did or didn’t do it, why she worried about you and how she prayed for you. Mother’s Day is the day you realise that she was right all along!

I once read that you never get over being a child as long as you have a Mother to go to. I guess I am an adult now. But it’s difficult getting my head around replacing the matriarch who was able to guide our little family with profound wisdom, strength and energy, who taught us to be thrifty, creative and sensitive to the needs of others, to be professional at work and sensible as parents. To be spiritual and if possible, religious too.  

Day of the midwife 2015

When I delivered my first baby, I was so excited I wrote about it for a magazine. The letter was published and I earned R20! Since then I have worked with many women in the ante-natal clinic, hospitals and childbirth education classes.

The midwife has multiple responsibilities – firstly to the woman and her baby, to the baby’s father, siblings and extended family and also to her place of work – or organisation if she is in private practice. Practising midwives need to register annually with the South African Nursing Council and it’s in her own interest to attend updating seminars and courses to keep abreast with new practices and research. 

What I enjoy most about midwifery is that it’s the happy side of nursing. While childbirth is not spared the unexpected, 90% of our work is dealing with positive outcomes. Women may forget what you said and did for them, but they will never forget how you made them feel – strong, special and confident to cope with the change in role from that of woman to mother!

So, on Tuesday 5^th May, I salute midwives around the world and I ask you to join me. Midwives who greet their patients with “Hello my sweetie – how are you?” who urge women to “push” or “wait” or “pant”. Who pick Dad up off the floor after he has cut the cord, who patiently answers the same questions every mother asks, who tells every parent that their baby is just the cutest little tiger/angel in the nursery and who cleans up the mess afterwards!

Midwives are women (men can also be midwives) who tell you ‘you can’, when you feel that you can’t. Midwives understand the agony of labour and the ecstasy of birth. They understand the sacrifice of relinquishing ‘self’ – mind, body and soul – for her baby, her baby’s father and her family. Midwives have been ‘with women’ since the dawn of time and they will be there to deliver your grandchildren!