Menstruation is a celebration

28^th May – Menstrual Hygiene Day: Breaking the silence around periods

Why is it that so many feisty, confident young girls become shy and self-conscious when they get to high school or University – to the point of getting lower grades, withdrawing from sport and other social activities? What happens to them during these years when they become aware of who they are rather than who they want to be? Could it be that their bodies are changing, and that nobody understands them because well, they don’t understand themselves?  Can periods, that are supposed to be normal, interfere with a girl’s hopes and dreams for her future?

28^th of May 2018 has been marked “World Menstrual Hygiene Day”, a day aimed to educate women and girls about their periods and understanding their cycle. Menstrual Hygiene Day also aims to break the silence around periods, thus enabling both girls and women to reach their full potential.

In a patriarchal society, menstruating women are considered ‘unclean’. As far back as Biblical Days, when women had their periods, they were obliged to separate themselves from their husbands and their community. The Red Tent is a beautiful novel written by Anita Diamant that tells the story of Dinah, daughter of Jacob and sister to Joseph. The book title refers to the tent in which women of Jacob's tribe must, according to the ancient law, take refuge while menstruating or giving birth. During their seven-day retreat into this tent, they find support and encouragement from their mothers, sisters and aunts.

Sadly, the idea that menstrual blood is ‘dirty’ still stands in many societies today. For example, ‘niddah’ in Judaism, is the word used to describe a woman during menstruation who has not yet completed ‘mikveh’ (ritual bath) seven days after starting her period. In the Book of Leviticus, the Torah prohibits sexual intercourse during menstruation.

In the Hindu faith, menstruating women are considered ‘impure’ and are obliged to follow specific rules. They are seen as ‘polluted’, and are often isolated as ‘untouchables’, unable to return to their family for the duration of their period. Additionally, menstruating women not allowed to touch anything related to God or be involved in any religious activity while she has her periods.

Anthropologists of religion on the other hand, point out that the concepts 'sacred' and 'unclean' may be intimately connected. Where women's blood is considered sacred, the belief is that it should be ritually set apart. According to this logic, it is when sacred blood comes into contact with profane things that it becomes experienced as ritually dangerous or 'unclean'.

Leslie Kenton, in her book ‘Passages to Power’ writes about ‘blood mysteries’ and how the power of creation was believed to come from the blood that pours from a woman’s body – like the ebb and flow , the waxing and waning of the moon. Medieval physicians believed that a young woman’s menstrual blood could cure leprosy and act as an aphrodisiac (the aphrodisiac part still applies in some parts of the world today – certainly I have heard of this from girls in South Africa).

Ancient Hindus taught that all life comes from the goddess of creation Kali-Ma. The Great Mother’s ‘menstrual substance’ thickened to form the crust from which all solid matter came.

Even the word blessing that comes from the Old English word ‘bloedsed’, which means bleeding.

This translates that ‘bleeding is a blessing’ or ‘menstruation is a celebration’ because when a woman’s womb ‘bleeds’ regularly, it means that she is in tip-top health and ready to conceive.

Just think about it: human life cannot be created without the blood of a woman’s womb!

So why should girls and women be shy, ashamed and embarrassed by their periods? Menstruation is the gift of passing on life. Conception is the ultimate union of perhaps millions of years of genetics passed from one generation to the next, culminating in the birth of a baby, destined to continue the survival of our species, through woman.  

Join us in celebrating World Menstrual Hygiene Day on Monday, 28^th May, 2018.

For more information on Menstrual Hygiene visit  www.kotex.co.za or follow Kotex on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/KotexSouthAfrica/)

Coping with a premature baby

                                                    Then .........

Born too soon

At the end of May, our little preemie granddaughter will celebrate her first birthday. Still tiny, she has made good progress in spite of setbacks and some of the complications caused by prematurity.

A premature baby is born before 36 weeks. Prematurity is usually caused by pregnancy problems such as high blood pressure, diabetes, placental problems, trauma, infections, a weak cervix (mouth of the womb), multiples (twins or triplets), the mother’s age and sometimes, for unknown reasons.

Prematurity is stressful for parents, traumatising for baby and demanding on the medical team. This team includes the paediatrician, neonatal nursing sisters and other specialists such as physiotherapists, neurologists and dietitians.

The high-care unit is a busy place with people, equipment, lights and incubators. It’s frightening when parents see their tiny baby covered with tubes, drips and monitor leads. Visiting is limited to parents only. Strict hygiene is essential for infection control. Hands must be washed and parents are gowned and masked. Mothers are encouraged to start expressing breast milk even when she only has colostrum (first milk).

The nursing staff in neonatal high-care units are dedicated to their preemies and empathetic with parents. They should take the time to explain what the equipment is for, the treatment plan and any progress their baby is making. Parents can spend weeks and even months at their baby’s bedside, and a good relationship between the medical staff and the parents goes a long way to helping parents stay positive. This helps them to bond with their baby, and mom to make enough milk to feed her baby through a tube.

Anxious parents want to know if their baby will survive, and if their baby will be normal. They also have a life outside the hospital – a job, a family and other responsibilities. Parents are often plagued with question from family and friends when they themselves don’t know the answers. Mother’s especially are afraid to voice her fears – did I do something wrong, am I being punished, is God teaching me a lesson?

When the big day comes for parents to take their baby home, excited as they may be, they’re also hesitant and apprehensive because they won’t have the security of nursing staff to help them. It helps when it’s not their first baby – but it’s doubly-scary when this little preemie is the couple’s first baby and they’re not familiar with baby do’s and don’ts!

Parents with a preemie need to understand that it’s normal to have to deal with:

Overwhelming feelings of not coping

Dealing with overanxious grandparents

Being super-sensitive about what people say

Worrying about not ‘bonding’ with their baby

Delayed milestones and unexpected medical setbacks.

   

Coping tips:

Ask questions while your baby is still in hospital

Don’t consult ‘Dr Google’ – ask your paediatrician

Don’t miss follow-up appointments

Immunise your baby

Don’t hesitate to phone your paediatrician if you are worried about anything

Take pictures

Communicate with family and friends. They’re often hesitant to start a conversation or to ask questions in case these offend you

Celebrate your baby’s birth.

                                                                            ........and now!

Remembering Mom on Mother's Day

Motherless Moms remembering our mothers on Mother’s Day

For their sixth wedding anniversary Dad bought Mom and brand-new Bernard Stein piano. Back then it was trendy to have a sing-song around the piano, and Dad enjoyed singing. Mom and Dad went into town one Saturday morning and bought some sheet music of popular songs of the day. One of these was called MOTHER.

Remembering the chorus this Mother’s Day, I pay tribute to our dearest Mom – ‘sweet Evelyn’.

M – ‘Is for the million things you gave me’. When you were widowed so young Mom, you couldn’t afford to give us a million things – but what we lacked in material goodies, you made up with love!

O – ‘Means that you’re growing old’. How difficult it was watching you grow old and so forgetful.

“Who is this good-looking young man” you asked me one day.

“This is John Mom. My husband”

“You’re married?”

“Yes, for some time now”

 “And you never told me!”

T – ‘Is for the tears you shed to save me.’ This I could never understand as a child. I imagined my mother holding a little bottle under her eyes to catch her tears for me. I thought - what for?

H – ‘Is for her heart of purest gold.’ That it surely was – and warm too

E – ‘Is for her eyes with love-light shining’ but I remember those eyes aiming daggers at me from the other side of the room when I was doing something wrong!

R – ‘Means right, and right she’ll always be’ – I still count on Mom’s wisdom and pray for her guidance.

‘Put them all together, they spell MOTHER. The word that (still) means the world to me’.

We thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new

We thought about you yesterday and days before that too.

We think of you in silence, we often speak your name

All we have now are memories and your picture in a frame.

Your memory is our keepsake with whom we will never part

God has you in His keeping, we have you in our hearts!

Top pregnancy and birthing tips from Kate

Pregnancy and birth tips from a Duchess

Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, recently gave birth her third child – Louis Arthur Charles – with seeming ease. In spite of his 3,83 kilograms, Kate had natural birth and stepped out of London’s St. Mary’s Hospital looking serenely impeccable when her little prince was only seven hours old. How did she do it?

Kate only did what women have been doing for eons – preparing for childbirth, trusting their instincts, listening to their body and feeling in control.

Apart from morning sickness, as far as we know, Kate had no complications. Added to that, she had the confidence to trust her body and do her own thing – something that women today seem to be readily handing over to their obstetricians/gynaecologists.

If you are pregnant (and without any problems), you still have time to put some of Kate’s tips into practice.

Eat healthy. Kate is said to have eaten plenty of avocado (they’re in season now so they’re readily available). She also only ate lean meats and fibre-rich porridge. She drank smoothies made from kale, spinach, blueberries and spirulina – an algae extract called “pregnancy superfood” because it’s so rich in protein and iron.

The Duchess exercised to prepare for natural childbirth.

• From 34 weeks she used a ‘birthing ball’ to prepare her pelvic floor muscles
• She kept up a gentle exercise routine and went for regular walks around Kensington Palace
• Kate enjoyed swimming lessons in the palace pool
• And she used pregnancy yoga exercises to strengthen her birthing muscles.

Kate postponed and cancelled all engagements and appointments a full month before her baby was due so that she could rest.

For pain relief Kate chose ‘hypnobirthing’ – a technique women can learn that helps to keep her calm so that she can embrace rather than fear childbirth. In this way, natural hormones like endorphins (for pain), prostaglandins (to help the womb contract) and relaxin (that helps to relax pelvic floor ligaments) could flood her bloodstream, calm her brain and allow her body to do what it’s designed to do.

Finally, Kate believes in a short hospital stay – agreeably there’s no place like home where you can recover and do your own thing.

I’m not sure how long Kate will breastfeeding her little prince – but no doubt, she will probably try for at least six months, if not for a year.

Understandably, in the eyes of the world, we’re not duchesses or princesses, yet in our own way, we’re just as important! It doesn’t take wealth and fortune to eat healthy and to exercise – even if it’s only in your back yard, the bath-tub and using a chair for support while doing squats to the rhythm of your favourite music.

Hypnotherapists are rare, but you can teach yourself relaxation techniques or you can learn these in ante-natal/childbirth/Lamaze classes. When you book for these classes, make sure they’re more than a weekly talk or a week-end crash course. Exercises can begin from six months into your pregnancy and should include birthing and relaxation techniques. Classes should also include Dad because he will be your number one cheerleader when the big day comes!