Your mental well-being during Covid-19

C’mon Girls …. Let’s get it together!

I can’t but help compare Covid-19 insecurities and uncertainties with those that people experienced during World War 1 and 2. The slogan ‘Keep calm and carry on’ applies as much today as it did then.

First and foremost, girls, look after your mental health. Don’t spend your days watching the news, avoid panic chatter and negative people. Above all, do your best to keep a level head.

Admittedly, there’s nowhere to hide from the coronavirus. This nasty micro-organism has invaded everybody’s life in one way or another – health, work, investments, holidays, travel opportunities, and even our spiritual lives. Introverts, who prefer their own company, may cope better than extroverts right now. But, as the saying goes, ‘this too shall pass’, and when this happens, introverts may have grown roots into the couch by then, and struggle to fit back into society.

Unfortunately, not much attention has been given to mental health issues here in South Africa where there’s a serious shortage of psychiatrists, psychologists, and councillors. Spare a thought for our nurses, doctors, and health-care workers who are struggling to cope with people who are panicking. As for parents doing their best to stay sane with boxed-up children who are fed-up with lockdown, I say ‘Well done so far!’

That being as it may, we all need some coping tips. Based on the advice of Johannesburg based psychiatrist; Rita Thom, here are the top few. 

1.      Don’t be afraid – be prepared:

Sit the family down and outline your challenges and options over the next few months.  Draw up a plan of action that includes your children’s suggestions. Depending on their age and level of understanding, share with them what they need to know. If you keep your children involved, they will be more co-operative.

2.      Don’t panic:

During these difficult times, insecurity and the constant fear of the unknown (despite information overload) can lead to anxiety disorders and even burnout. If you’re having sleepless nights and nightmares, if you’re feeling isolated and unable to concentrate, irritable, and depressed, you could be heading that way. Be honest with yourself and your family. Share with them how you’re feeling. Stop watching the news – it’s made to be dramatic and instill a sense of fear and panic. 

3.      Look after yourself:

You can’t look after your family if you don’t look after yourself. Ask for help. Join parenting online groups that have a positive outlook and give you practical and encouraging advice. If you need help, you can contact the South African Depression and Anxiety Group. Their 24-hour helpline number is 0800 456 789.

http://www.sadag.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=11&Itemid=114

4.      Help your children:

Although children are more adaptable to change than we are, they’re not spared anxiety, stress, and depression – even babies and toddlers can pick up your stress signals. It’s difficult for them to tell you how they’re feeling, so they do this with body language and behavior changes. Living in a confined space is frustrating – especially for children with ADHD and other mental difficulties. Stick to a routine, and reward your children with hugs and cuddles, praises, and privileges like watching TV or playing computer games. (Remind them that social distancing does not mean locking their sister outside!)

5.      Reach out – help others: Once you find a good way to do something, share it.

  

“Humans seem to hold on more tenaciously to a cultural identity that is learned through suffering than that acquired through pleasure and delight.” Anthropologist: Margaret Mead.

    Picture: Crazy Squirrel stock pictures

The high's and low's of working from home

How to become a hooker

I woke up one morning with an overwhelming longing for people – real people: not zoom or skype, webinar, WhatsApp or emails, Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest. I’m tired of the radio and TV. They don’t make up for spontaneous smiles, belly-laughs, children’s squeals and body language like arm-folds, frowns, chin-jerks, and ‘what-Eva's’.

I’m frustrated with working from home. I miss people – even meetings. That’s how serious this is! My shaggy hair was shapeless. My bed beckoned every time I walked into the room. Last week’s dishes were waiting for me in the sink and it took me oh! so l-o-n-g to do anything. As SuzelleDIY says: ‘One day you feel fine, the next day you feel depressed, then you feel happy again and then you feel like you’ve got Coronavirus’.

I am a morning person, but when Covid-19 came to stay, I started waking up in the mornings with a heavy heart, dread in my step, my intestines tied in a knot and feeling distinctly nauseous. I wanted to stay in bed. But this didn’t make the monster COVID go away – in fact, the shadow of doom and gloom grew like a humongous hurricane hovering on the horizon, and it was coming to get me.

So, like Max, in Maurice Sendak’s children’s book, 'Where the Wild Things Are', I had to command the monster of sloth to ‘Be Still!’ and tame it with my magic trick – by staring into its yellow eyes. Or should I say: face my fears. 

It was time for a shake-up and a make-over. It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself. So, I washed and cut my hair – I don’t know if that was a good idea, but anyway, now I can see through my fringe.

Then I thought about what I really enjoy doing. Something relaxing and inspirational. Something quiet (so I don’t disturb my man) yet joyful. Something creative and long-term – well, to last through COVID-19 anyway.

I’ve heard that it helps to learn something new – so I learned Tunisian crocheting – and I was hooked. Now, when I get up, I pick up my Tunisian needle and start to crochet. Slowly, slowly I get hooked into the rhythm crocheting and my mood of doom and gloom slowly lifts, and I feel more positive about starting the day. When people ask me which hat I’m wearing, I tell them my hooker hat!

How can this help you? Try these:

• Set goals – with a time-line:
• Find a mentor or muse:
• Reward yourself - have something to look forward to:
• Eat regular, healthy meals:
• Meet one person (mask, social distancing etc.) in person every day and talk about things other than Covid-19:
• Keep-up with your work responsibilities:
• Have a hobby:
• If you’re home-schooling children, see to their needs first – and have regular breaks together:
• When all else fails, go for a walk, eat a bar of chocolate, phone a friend:

Finally. Pray for wisdom, strength, courage and endurance.

Picture: free clipartix.com

      

Give yourself a break

It’s OK to have a meltdown

I was watching a National Geographic documentary about the behaviour of wild animals when they’ve escaped the jaws of a predator. They jump, buck, and skip as though they’re celebrating saying yay! Yay! Yay! Perhaps they re-aligning their energy or calming-down an adrenaline (survival ‘fight or flight’ hormones) surge.

Pent-up feelings can brew and then explode when you least expect it. Right now, we’re confined to home that could be a small apartment or a spacious mansion. We get on each other’s nerves when we’re on top of one another, but we feel lonely and isolated when there’s too much space between us.

Try as you may, there are going to be days (or nights) when you’ve had enough! Enough bad news, enough stress, enough demands from your family/boss/community/church, enough miserable weather, enough noise from the kids (or the neighbours). You need to have a good cry. It cleans your eyes and makes them super-tired. This helps you have a good uninterrupted sleep – and inevitably wake up feeling a whole lot better. Try it sometime!

If you think somebody’s life is better than your own, that it looks so good and they’re coping better than you are right now, take a deeper look at what they have experienced and have gone through to get where they are. We’re not who we are on the outside, its what’s on the inside, that counts.

Reaffirm your achievements. Do this every day. Gauge your achievements on YOU – and not others. You are special, unique, and loved. Don’t ever forget. Watch Mandy Beverley, founder of “The Remarkable Group” and Cathy Mellett, founder of “I’m Enough” that I’ve posted on my blog Facebook. 

Picture: EnginAkyurt@enginakurt   

Chronically ill people during Covid-19

Spare a thought for the chronically and critically ill during the Covid-19 crises

I had to go to the Charlotte Maxeke Johannesburg Academic Hospital for a check-up last week. It’s one of the government hospitals that’s been earmarked for Covid-19. The hospital was opened in 1979 and covers health care for maternity, paediatric, orthopaedic, dental, surgical, and medical needs. It’s built against a hill in Parktown and has 3 floors of underground parking. The fifth floor, that’s level with the main street entrance, is called ‘Hospital Street’. This throughway leads to all sections of the hospital, and each has four floors. The hospital was built with empty ‘interstitial’ floors that could be opened up to double the size of the hospital in an emergency – like now. I am not sure if this has been implemented for Covid-19.

Charlotte Maxeke is an academic training hospital for undergraduate and post-graduate students. Wits medical school, in collaboration with other universities, has produced some world-class research. More recently specialists have designed the innovative protection head-box for Covid-19 patients.  

I was impressed to find the hospital spiffed up. The flooring along Hospital Street has been replaced, walls have been painted and fluorescent lights have been repaired or replaced. Even though I was too early for the appointment for my bone-density test, the doctor did not make me wait. Unfortunately, there were no doctors available for the clinic, but our scripts had been written up, and we were all given a follow-up appointment for six months’ time.

Strict Covid-19 protocol was followed – although I must say that many patients did not seem to be taking these seriously – wearing their masks under their chins, not sticking to proper social distancing, and ignoring sanitising stations. The medical profession can only do so much – it’s up to us to protect ourselves. I understand that this is easier said than done. But we all have to make an effort. If we could see the virus, we would all be a whole lot more careful.

I have been going to Charlotte Maxeke for my Lupus for the last 12 years. It has become my ‘security’, marking my Lupus journey from one visit to the next. I have an amazing Lupus specialist whom I can contact in an emergency. In Government hospitals, all appointments are made in advance and there is no such thing as phoning-in to see a doctor. Everybody has to wait their turn – no matter how sick you are.

Covid-19 has created a huge insecurity for regular outpatients – even in private hospitals. Understandably, the focus is on coping with Covid-19 and we just have to ‘hang-in’ there till it’s over. This stress amongst outpatients was clearly evident. Whereas regular hospital visits were something of a ‘social outing’, most people I saw were anxious about interacting with others. People don’t smile when they wear a mask. I missed the usual ‘happy chatter’, sharing sandwiches and stories, teaching women who showed an interest in how to knit or crochet, and taking knitted teddies to the children’s ward. I can’t do any of these things for a while now. It makes the burden of Lupus that much heavier to bear. It also makes the stress of Covid-19 so much more of a reality.

So, spare a thought for people you know who have cancer, have had a transplant, those who need dialysis, and those awaiting surgery that has been indefinitely delayed. Their Covid-19 challenge is a lot harder to bear.  

While We Can't Hug